Michel avoids killing thousands while installing a window unit

Twenty-eight dead in horrifying window unit installation accident.  That is more or less what I feared would be the outcome of DIY air conditioning.  Luckily the body count only topped out at around twelve.

Our apartment was built as employee housing by the Marshall Field’s Company in 1920, so, as one might imagine, there is no central air.   When you move to a city like Chicago people often say things like “Oh, you don’t really need an air conditioner.  You should be fine with a ceiling fan and an open window.”  These people are liars.  Two fans and an open window did virtually nothing to keep our bedroom from maintaining a temperature of about 10,000 degrees.

When left to one’s own devices, one has two air conditioning options: a portable unit or a window unit.  Pretty immediately I gravitated toward the portable option.  It requires no installation and carries with it very little likelihood of being accidentally dropped from a window on to an unsuspecting passerby.  Unfortunately, such units are expensive, less ubiquitous than their window mounted counterparts, and are known for leaking condensation all over the floor.  “Fine,” I thought, “we’ll get a window unit, but we’ll have someone else install it.”   Then we saw how long it would take to get such a person, and my thought became “Looks like I’m going to install our air conditioner this afternoon.”

After a little more research, we found the unit we wanted at Home Depot and purchased it along with some pink foam and duct tape to fill in any gaps the window unit didn’t fill in the window.

As I write this, it occurs to me that, given all of this build up, you, the reader, might now expect to read of a mighty struggle to install an air conditioning unit in our bedroom window.  Shockingly, it was actually pretty easy and free of major drama.  Sure, there were some issues with the adhesive foam strips that came with the air conditioner sticking to themselves, but, overall, I really didn’t have any trouble with it.  I mean in the middle of the installation I had to stop to save, and subsequently find loving homes for, some kids from a burning orphanage, but that’s not really germane to this story.   And even with that, the whole thing only took about twenty minutes, and that time was mostly spent inventing a cold fusion generator to power the window unit.*

In summation, do not fear installing your own window unit.  It only requires a screw driver, Styrofoam, duct tape, a window, and basic reading skills.  And an air conditioner.

*Reader Challenge: Can you spot the embellishments in this story.

**Reader Challenge Answer: No, you cannot.  There are none.

 The cold fusion reactor is just out of the frame