Fountainhead Earns the Michel Bigelow Stamp of Approval

Of this world’s many pleasures, few delight me more than a truly great bar.  What makes a great bar, you ask?  While I’m sure there are many criteria by which people judge their public houses, mine are no doubt best and most indicative of greatness.  I don’t ask a great deal of bars, but should they desire to hold my custom, I expect the following:

1.      Booze Selection

First and foremost, any good bar should have a wide array of quality beer (Anheuser-Busch, Miller, Coors, etc. do not qualify) from which to choose, preferably with many of these on tap.  (A side note on taps: They are important.  Never trust a bar without taps.)  In addition to beer, a solid selection of other beverage options is always a plus.  (Elizabeth: For those of us who are not beer aficionados, a good wine selection is appreciated.)

2.      Food

If one is going to be taking part in an establishment’s alcoholic offerings, it stands to reason that one may also wish to eat.  Therefore, at the very least, a menu of traditional pub fare is a must.  With the advent of the so-called “Gastro Pub” (one of the most significant happenings of the last thousand years), however, expecting more than store bought jalapeno poppers and mozzarella sticks is not entirely unreasonable.

3.      Non-smoking

With apologies to any smokers who may be reading this, I despise the smell of burning tobacco, and, as such, prefer a bar that prohibits smoking.  Besides, one should really indulge one’s vices one at a time.

            As I said, I do not ask much of a watering hole, but what I do is non-negotiable.  Imagine my joy at discovering that, not half a mile from our apartment, there is a bar that emphatically checks all of my boxes.  This house of alcoholic wonder is known as Fountainhead.  Looking at the name, one might expect it to be some sort of objectivist meeting place, but it is, in fact, a bar with such an extensive and detailed drink menu that it has to be put into a binder.  When one opens this drink binder one is greeted with a list, with descriptions, of about twenty-five draft beers and another 200 or so beers in bottles, bombers, and cans all arranged by style and place of origin.  On subsequent pages one finds similar lists featuring over one hundred varieties of Scotch and about twenty-five types of bourbon, including two types of Pappy Van Winkle (at least in theory; the Pappy is, at present, out of stock).

            The food menu, though less extensive, is no less impressive.  Using primarily locally sourced ingredients, they make pub food with a delicious and sophisticated spin.  As with their drink selection, the stress is on quality.  Try to find another bar that makes such wonderful things as duck fat home fries.  I was actually afraid that Elizabeth might leave me for the turkey sambal sandwich.  What’s more, I probably wouldn’t have blamed her.

            When I was in college, I spent six weeks in Salzburg, Austria for a summer opera program.  It is a time of which I have many fond memories.  Quite a few of these are related to beer.  More than any other brew, Stiegl is the one that I associate with my time in Salzburg, as it is the official beer of the city.  It can be found every five feet or so, in restaurants, bars, and even vending machines.  Unfortunately, once I returned from this adventure, I could not find Stiegl anywhere.  That is, until our first trip to Fountainhead, which carries both the Pilsner and Goldbrau (Later I would come to find that Stiegl is available all over Chicago.  I’m not sure why that is.).  As you might imagine, I had a Stiegl with my burger that night, and it pleased me to my core.

            On Sundays, Fountainhead has a brunch that is above reproach.  It is here where one can get the aforementioned duck fat home fries, which I believe were also covered in Stephen’s guest post.  Duck fat home fries are multiple blog posts good.  The brunch menu also features what is hands down the best bagel sandwich I have ever had.

            Lest anyone think I am too enamored with Fountainhead at this point to judge it fairly, I will say that the turkey burger is a little dry and short on flavor.  The turkey burger should not be confused with the turkey sambal sandwich or the actual hamburger, both of which are great.

            Making your way through the world today takes everything you’ve got.  Wouldn’t you like to get away?  Sometimes you want to go where there is a genuinely impressive drink selection and delicious, well-made food.  There’s also a rooftop garden, but I’ve never been up there, so I can’t comment on it.  I’m sure it’s nice, but it has a more limited menu, and, besides, I’m not an animal.  I will eat inside, thank you.

            Unfortunately, now that this entry has been posted and seen by, presumably upward of one billion people, the crowds at Fountainhead will be so enormous the no one will be able to get in.  Such is the gift and curse of the Michel Bigelow Stamp of Approval.