Before you freak out, yes. Michel and I went to the audition.
Michel and Ryan arrived at the theatre around 1:00 p.m., only to be directed to the end of the line...six blocks away. I was still babysitting at this point, attempting to get ready while dancing with the 10 month old to the Simon and Garfunkle Pandora station (he is a huge Billy Joel fan and not so keen on Journey) and fielding text updates from Michel that made me increasingly anxious. I was going to a movie audition! And a huge, Hollywood blockbuster audition at that! I was totally cool about it...
I made it there by 3:30, having parked at least half a mile away, and found Michel and Ryan in line on the block to the side of the theatre. In driving around, trying to find a parking place, I had seen the line winding through the neighborhood, extending at least another 6 blocks. Literally thousands of people had showed up, some even as early as 8 that morning. This was a big deal. We were optimistic, however, that we'd be able to all audition before they had to leave for class around 5.
Hour 3 of waiting...not yet frozen from the cold
My excited/crazy/Stepford creepy face...
And our nice picture was ruined by the photobombers...
Not many people were in costume. However, we did see this very tall and large gentleman in an ill-fitting storm trooper costume. People still flocked to him for pictures, so that goes to show what even the most basic costume can do in a hard-core fan situation. (Though the true fans, I'm sure, were not impressed and enumerated the many problems with the costume in lengthy detail, including scoffing at the black Frankenstein shoes. And yes, I'm talking about Michel.)
We retained hope as men in baseball caps and official looking clip boards occasionally walked by, greeting us with, "Thank you for coming! Not much longer now." They lied. The surging forward of the line became more infrequent at the temperature dropped and the sun went down. We all agreed that clearly these characters must be from the Planet Hoth, and the casting directors were looking for those who embraced the method acting situation they had forced us into by waiting to start auditions until the late afternoon.
Unfortunately, it was not to be for all in our group. Ryan left at 5, and Michel shortly after, both charging me with not only staying to audition but with winning the part of Rachel, a tough, streetwise, highly athletic girl of 17-18 who has been on her own for several years after losing her family. Sounds exactly like me, right? Fortunately, we had made friends with two other people in line, Laura and Trey, so I had someone to wait with other than the photobomber who, while entertaining at first, quickly turned tiresome and a little crazy. The general consensus was that if the line of desperate actors turned into an angry mob, Photobomber would be the one tipping the cars.
Finally, at 5:30, Laura, Trey, and I rounded the corner! The theatre doors were in sight!
Finally, at 5:30, Laura, Trey, and I rounded the corner! The theatre doors were in sight!
Yes, it is dark and the moon is up at 5:30 in the afternoon.
Around this time we began to hear troubling rumors from those assumed to have completed their audition. Perhaps this audition was not an audition after all, but merely a casting meet and greet, a perfunctory shake of the hand and an exchange of headshots and vague, mildly comforting information. We were in the the theatre by 6 and discovered that these unsettling rumors were, in fact, true.
Inside line for the meet-and-greet
Casting table with Mary Ellen and Jessica, members of the casting team for Inception and The Avengers
Right after I took the picture of the casting table, Mary Ellen, a small blond woman reminiscent of Helen Hunt, stopped the line and explained to the room what was happening: This. Was. Not. An. Audition. It was a meet and greet, where the casting director sends members of the team to various cities to meet potential actors and collect headshots for the purpose of directing the more focused search at a later time. If, for example, Chicago has a large selection of people who fit the roles' descriptions and who impress at the meet and greet, it is likely that either an audition will be held here or (more likely) individuals will be directly contacted to audition. Mary Ellen wanted to keep this process moving as quickly as possible, so she would greet you, you would give your headshot to Jessica, and if you did not bring your headshot, you would be directed to a third woman who would give you instructions on how to upload your headshot to the website...the very website that had advertised this as an audition! And they were looking for actors, not nerdy Star Wars devotees. What a roller-coaster of emotions! Laura was livid, having wasted her day when she could have just submitted her info online. Trey was very zen, but in the short time I had known him, it seemed to me that he was zen about most things. I was...cold...and still pretty excited. Sure, it wasn't an audition, but I was about to hand my headshot and resume to a REAL HOLLYWOOD CASTING AGENT! FOR STAR WARS! Pretty heady stuff, let me tell you.
I finally made it to Mary Ellen. Laura had tried to make herself memorable, awkwardly telling Mary Ellen that she looked forward to being in her movie. Mary Ellen looked non-plussed, so I focused my attentions on Jessica. After introducing myself by name to both (with a strong handshake, of course), I confidently handed my materials to Jessica. She started with the cursory glance at my headshot and did a double take. "Great photo!" This made her look at my resume. "Excellent stage experience. Thank you!" I smiled, and headed out the door.
Clearly, it went extremely well. So look for me on the big screen December 18, 2015. Unless I am mistaken, I'll be up there.*
*Note: The author of this piece has received no feedback, casting offer, contract, or contact of any kind from Disney, Lucasfilm, Inc., J.J. Abrams, or Harrison Ford. The veracity of this statement cannot be verified at this time.**
**Excerpt from my Academy Award 2016 Acceptance Speech: "And I want to thank Ryan, who insisted that I go to the audition way back in November 2013 and whose book, now that I am a world famous, award winning Star Wars actress, I will be optioning for film development to star Harrison Ford." There ya go, Ryan.
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